


You, You, You

by almostblue (fictionalaspect)



Series: B.A.P short fics [16]
Category: B.A.P, K-pop
Genre: ???? - Freeform, I don't know where this was going, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Mutual Masturbation, Pining, Porn, Unrequited Crush, i don't know how it ends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 04:50:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2719340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalaspect/pseuds/almostblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not like Junhong is <i>proud</i> of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You, You, You

**Author's Note:**

> More of a Junhong coming out/character study than anything else. 
> 
> But with jerking off. You know. Like you do.

It's not like Junhong is _proud_ of it. 

He spends a great deal of energy trying to forget about it, actually. Himchan had told him once that it didn't matter what you thought about when you got yourself off, as long as it wasn't dead bodies or something. Well, or kids. Or animals. Or diapers. Or--

\---actually, now that Junhong thinks about it, Himchan had had a rather long list of Things Not to Think About. Junhong hadn't really noticed at the time. He'd been waiting with a sinking heart, waiting for a certain single word to fall from Himchan's lips, but it never did. 

Himchan never said, _you're not supposed to think about guys._

Junhong had bitten his lip, nodding along with wide eyes, as Himchan listed lots of things that Junhong had never even considered and wouldn't want to jerk off thinking about anyway, like rotten food or balloons or couches. Himchan had finally lost it, unable to keep a straight face, when Yongguk leaned over and slapped his hand over Himchan's mouth. 

"Aish, stop fucking with the maknae," Yongguk had said, and Himchan's loud, braying laugh could suddenly be heard behind Yongguk's delicate fingers. 

"Um," Junhong said. "Um, I don't--"

"He only really meant the first three or four," Yongguk said, sighing and shaking his head at Himchan, who was doubled over with laughter. "Like the kids and animals part. And, uh. Dead people. Those are probably bad." 

"Jesus, what kind of porn do you people watch?" Youngjae said, poking his head through the doorway and making a horrified face. "Dead people? What the fuck?"

"Um," Junhong had said, blushing furiously. "Yeah. I think. I mean. I'm good. Those really aren't..."

"Then you're fine," Yongguk said, grinning at him and winking. 

 

 

That night Junhong got off twice, chest heaving, his toes curling with the overload of sensation. It was 4am; he had to be absolutely silent, and the added secrecy made the hairs on the back of his neck tingle. With nerves, with pleasure--he didn't know, but there was something dangerous and forbidden and exciting about it. He'd tried to stay quiet on his own, at first, but he'd quickly learned that he needed some help. He came the first time with his fingers stripping his cock, biting into the fleshy part of his palm while he thought about Yongguk kissing him. 

Junhong had lay there, panting with exertion and trying to keep quiet. He'd lain there and thought to himself that it shouldn't have been that easy. His fantasy was tame as hell, and even he knew it. But just the thought of---of something like that happening, of Yongguk taking an interest in him like that. Noticing him. The way his imagination had built up and built up the scenario. Yongguk flirting with him. Skimming his fingers over the back of Junhong's neck, his waist, his ass. Giving him that sweet smile that he seemed to reserve only for certain people and places. And finally just---leaning in, one night, the two of them alone. Pressing Junhong down into the cushions of their broken old couch, fitting their bodies together as he licked his way into Junhong's mouth. 

Junhong had winced, rubbing his hand over his eyes, as he felt his cock jerk. It was almost painful so soon after coming. He was sticky and sore, but as he began to clean up his hands and his stomach and his dick Yongguk suddenly sighed in his sleep, soft and helpless. 

The noise made shivers run down Junhong's spine, like tiny jolts of electricity running through his veins. It was such a _private_ noise; the kind of noise Yongguk might make, maybe, if Junhong were bold enough to climb on top of him. If Junhong nipped at Yongguk's neck and his throat as he rolled their hips together, pressing himself up against Yongguk, against the hardness that he knew he would find underneath Yongguk's---

\---Junhong gave up and started jerking off again. 

 

 

Yongguk quickly became such a regular in Junhong's secret stash of fantasies that Junhong may have freaked out a bit and decided to think about something else. Like, _anything_ else. Crushing on sunbae was one thing, but surely there were other people Junhong found attractive. Or--not even attractive, really, because Junhong found lots of people attractive, in that abstract and beautiful way that he also enjoyed good art and good music and fall leaves and the smell of the ocean. Junhong decided he needed to find more people that made him feel like those fantasies did. 

Like there was hole in his stomach filled with fire, curling through him with need. 

The problem was that Junhong spent all his time with the same group of people, and when he didn't, he was either asleep, practicing, or performing for fans. He tried to memorize pretty faces and conjure up stories to tell himself, but it never quite worked. They seemed false and thin, like paper dipped in water and then held up to the light. 

 

 

Junhong was starting to worry that there really was something wrong with him when Youngjae kissed him.

It was an accident, of course; Junhong jerked sleepily away, and Youngjae slipped on the covers, and then there was a long moment where their lips were pressed together. Junhong had been terrified, both afraid to move and afraid that the kiss would end if he did. 

Youngjae had pulled back afterwards, looking shocked. His smile had taken a bit too long to slip on his face, and his laughter sounded forced, and Junhong _knew_.

After that, it was easy. 

 

Junhong never pushed the issue, and Youngjae never missed Junhong's cheek again, but the atmosphere between them had changed almost imperceptibly. Junhong would find himself flirting, sometimes, noticing himself in astonishment as if from far away. Youngjae would stay close, sometimes, on rainy days; he would link his fingers with Junhong's and they would talk about nothing. It felt as though a thin, invisible thread now bound them together. A shared memory that they both silently agreed to forget during daylight hours.

But at night, sometimes Junhong would roll over and look down to find Youngjae looking up and watching him, his eyes hazy and appreciative. Junhong would always lick his lips, swallowing and giving the slightest nod before rolling back to stare up at the ceiling and listen to Youngjae's tiny gasps and moans. 

Afterwards, Junhong always returned the favor, whining softly as he came. It was something they didn't talk about, because there was never any need. Junhong knew they both understood each other perfectly.


End file.
